Just the Two of Us (and Madoka)
by DevinTowerwood
Summary: Tomoe Mami has been falling for Madoka for who knows how long, but everyone has her pegged as a mother figure. Desperate to prove that she's eligible to her younger classmates, Mami sets her sights on the lonely and solemn Akemi Homura, the isolated magical girl who could use a (girl)friend. A fluffy romance played straight (for now). Post-Rebellion.
1. (You don't have to be) Alone

**Full Summary:** Tomoe Mami has been falling for Madoka for who knows how long, but everyone has her pegged as a mother figure. Desperate to prove that she's eligible to her younger classmates, Mami sets her sights on the lonely and solemn Akemi Homura, the isolated magical girl who could use a (girl)friend.

Little does she realize that this plays right into Homura's plans to have Madoka for herself, but Homura is happy to play the part of the lovesick girl she once was.

A fluffy romance played straight (for now).

 **Author's Notes:** I'm not actually familiar with most of the Puella Magi canon - just the show and Rebellion. If I've violated canon somewhere along the line, feel free to tell me, but I'm not going to be trying very hard to stick to other sources. Please let me know what you think of this idea down in the comments!, I'd love to continue, but I must admit I'm ambivalent about whether to write straight fluff with Homura's sinister designs only hinted at, or to play up Homura's obsession into a central plot.

* * *

The day started out much like any other – Mami Tomoe woke up soon after dawn, put on a pot of tea, and checked her soul gem for the presence of magic through heavy eyes. No glow in the gem, no miasma outside her apartment's window – it looked like a quiet morning in Mitakihara City.

The walk to school was peaceful and cold. She lived far enough away that she could just take the tram, but recently this quiet hour was one of few she spent alone. Even when she started encountering other students, they were all paired off with their friends, expecting to be out of earshot. It wasn't until she reached the courtyard of the high school that she could hear her own friend's voices, slowing down until they noticed her.

"Mami! Hey, Mami!"

Mami finally paused, plastered on a small smile, and turned to face them. Sayaka walked ahead of the others, waving with her bag over one shoulder. Kyoko and Madoka followed close behind, chatting as they approached – though Madoka turned and smiled brightly before they formed into a small circle.

"Sayaka. Girls. Good morning."

Mami tilted her head towards the school, and the four of them started walking in a line. She said, "I trust you were all right getting home last night? No trouble with the wraiths?"

"As if," Kyoko scoffed, and their morning greeting was complete.

"Oh, hey Homura!" Madoka said, drawing everyone's attention to the girl walking briskly past them without seeming to notice they were even there.

She paused, looking over her shoulder for a second before she and they all paused. "Hello," she said, eyes scanning over all of them quickly. She paused at the end of the line, however, staring at Mami silently. By the time Mami blinked, however, she had turned to continue her fast pace towards the campus, and Mami convinced herself that she hadn't been staring at all.

Homura had always been a strange girl, withdrawn and sullen – an outsider to the school, like Mami herself. She'd never made the effort to befriend any of the other magical girls of Mitakihara City, but she never stepped on their toes, either, so Mami was convinced they had a long-standing truce of coexistence.

Mami secretly suspected that Homura resented how many magical girls she'd helped Kyubey make contracts with, dividing the spoils of wraith-hunting further and further. For Mami, it was an easy exchange – she was more restricted as a magical girl, but less as a person, as she was free to have friends and even take a day off if need be. But if Homura had any friends or anything to take a day off for, Mami had never seen it.

As long as Homura didn't decide to break their unspoken truce, however, Mami decided not to make Homura's business her business. Their lives were all easier for how little they interacted – a small respect among girls who rarely have the option of mutual respect.

* * *

Having lunch on the roof every day was a habit they all picked up in middle school, back when it had still been important for them to discuss magical girl matters in secret. Dozens of stories in the air, the wind never stopped blowing, and they were afforded a rare look at the sprawling, rapidly-growing city. Mitakihara probably never would have had the opportunity to grow like this if the murder rate had stayed as high as it had been when Mami and Kyoko first contracted.

Waiting for them on the roof was a small, bright-eyed girl on a middle school uniform – Nagisa, the newest addition to the team. There had been little reason for Nagisa to make a contract with Kyubey, and she hadn't had much potential, but on her fourteenth birthday, she had a party at Mami's place where she made a wish for a beautiful party and giant cake. Mami scolded her, but she knew her chances of surviving probably went up if she could defend herself, considering how often she tagged along during wraith hunting.

"Jeeze, Mami," Kyoko remarked, jabbing chopsticks in her direction, "How do you manage to make your lunches so . . . pretty? Practicing being the perfect mom?"

Her lunch was divided neatly into fourths, including the macarons she'd been practicing making lately. The truth was, she had just been a picky eater as a child, and keeping her food neatly separated had just continued as a habit once she started making her own food. If it was pretty, it was only because she couldn't stand for it to be anything else.

Mami laughed graciously though and said, "Oh, I don't think I'd make a very good mom, ability to separate my food notwithstanding. I hear musket blasts can be harmful for children's ears."

Madoka quirked her head to the side, not pausing as she ate her sandwich.

Meanwhile, Sayaka quirked her eyebrows and said, "Good one, Mami, you're _totally_ not a mom."

Mami glared, but Nagisa shrugged and continued, "You're not nurturing or caring at all," her tone flat even if she was clearly joking.

"Just an absolute bastard," Kyoko nodded, opening one of her endlessly variable snacks.

Before Mami got a chance to protest, though, Madoka followed up with, "You're kind of already the Mom of us magical girls, huh?"

"Hey now, hey, I didn't sign up to have a mom," Kyoko said with her mouth full, "I'm just sayin', you've got the look. The attitude. The goods."

Mami replied, nonplussed, "The 'goods?'"

Kyoko immediately reached up to clutch her own chest, but Sayaka swatted her hands down without hesitation. She said, "Dude, don't sexually harass my mom."

Mami rolled her eyes at the both of them, but whatever they were trying to get across, it just left her self-conscious. When they had all been younger and the other girls needed a mentor, it had been natural for someone who contracted so young to teach them. But now, as peers, she didn't want them to see her that way, even if she _was_ a year older.

She couldn't exactly put her finger on why, even as Madoka's reassuring smile made her heart flutter.

* * *

By the time her last class of the day was coming to an end, Mami still hadn't put together what made her uncomfortable about the 'Mom' title. After all, she had worked hard to make them feel like a family – relying on one another, seeing each other for holidays, working out their issues and apologizing when apologies were due. She even liked taking care of them – making food for Nagisa and Kyoko, talking to Sayaka about her friendships and relationship with Kyoko, helping Madoka pick out clothes and pin her hair up all pretty. It all came from a place of love, didn't it? Why was it so important that they see her as one of them?

Mami's phone buzzed, and she was surprised to see Homura's name in the preview.

 **Homura:** do you have time to meet me at a café this evening?

Mami glanced up at her teacher, but she sat in the back, and it was probably safe to respond.

 **Mami:** Why?

 **Homura:** I'd like the chance to spend some time with you, if you don't mind

That hardly sounded like Homura, but if she had information to share, it wouldn't be much like her to say so over a text anyhow – she always seemed fond of appearing suddenly and beginning to speak as if you should already know to listen. She must have a motive to ask for a meeting, even if she insisted on being cryptic. The only thing that left her suspicious was that Homura was planning on keeping whatever it was from the other magical girls.

 **Mami:** I'm free after school, but I live far from the school. Can we meet further from downtown?

 **Homura:** actually, the café I have in mind is between here and your apartment. Why don't we walk together?

Mami hesitated, but she couldn't think of what danger walking with Homura would pose that meeting her alone wouldn't already – in fact, this way the other magical girls could probably intervene if things went south. Once she was in the hall after class, she responded.

 **Mami:** Meet me in the courtyard in 5.

* * *

"So, what are your plans for when you graduate?" Homura finally asked, stirring sugar into her coffee. "Are you staying in Mitakihara City?"

She hadn't made eye contact or said anything about why she'd invited Mami here the entire time it had taken them to walk here, much to Mami's irritation. Even as she waited for a response, she lifted her stir stick to her lips without so much as glancing up to indicate this was supposed to be a conversation.

"I have no idea," Mami said with a shrug. "I never expected to live long enough to graduate from high school, never bothered to make plans for it. What about you?"

Homura chuckled quietly, propping her head up on her hand as she took a sip of coffee. "I'm afraid I'm no different. I don't think I ever learned how to think more than a month ahead since I became a magical girl. I guess I have you to thank for giving me the chance to do otherwise, even if I haven't taken you up on it."

Mami's eyes wandered, a subtle blush rising in her cheeks. Homura was different than normal: relaxed, kind, self-deprecating without undercutting her own humanity. It threw her off guard even to see Homura laugh, never mind acknowledge the work Mami had accomplished these past six years.

She coughed to clear her throat and said, "Well, I didn't do it alone. I never would have made it without the other girls – especially Madoka, she keeps everyone's spirits up."

Homura was still smiling as she set her coffee down, but the smile on her face was fake now. Mami got the impression she'd said something wrong.

The thought faded along with Homura's smile as she said, "Well, Mami Tomoe, I'll at least commend you for being able to put together such cooperative friends." She paused for a second, a glint of sadness in her eyes, and continued, "Unfortunately, I've never known how to do the same . . . I thought the fate of a magical girl was to fight silently for your wish, cutting all ties to anyone who might feel sad when you one day, inevitably, disappeared."

Any thought that Homura was tricking her died along with the conversation. Mami only nodded solemnly in response, stirring her tea while they both avoided eye contact. Homura had been alone all these years while Mami's circle of companions had grown bigger and happier. She had probably thought, like Mami had back after Kyoko left Mitakihara City, that isolation was the only way to protect yourself and anyone you had ever cared about. She had never considered that that extended so far as to keep Homura away from other magical girls, but, then again, she had never bothered to ask.

This was an extended hand, wasn't it? Homura couldn't just ask after all this time alone for it to stop, but she needed it to.

Mami had finished her tea before she was comfortable responding. She said, "I . . . still feel that way sometimes. Like my happiness will be turned against them, someday."

Homura finally looked up from her coffee, meeting Mami's gaze with quiet eyes. There really was a girl somewhere in there, wasn't there? The look was long and more intense than Mami anticipated, and she felt her pulse quicken as Homura refused to look away. On one hand, it was a little unnerving, but on the other, she felt so _seen_ , it was hard not to felt magnetized to that stare.

Homura said, "I think you're the only magical girl who understands how I feel, Mami."

Mami's chest began to feel tight from her heart rate spiking, and the blush was back worse than before. "Homura," she said softly, placing her hand in the middle of the table, "Would you like to come spend lunch with us t-"

They both jumped as Mami's ring glowed bright suddenly.

"I guess this will have to wait," Homura said, rising from seat without hesitation.

Mami was after her a second later, and the two of them opened the door of the café to find the streets filling with miasma, a smoggy mist that rolled through the city like a sudden power outage. High above them, wraiths began to form on buildings where they could overlook the same city that cursed them into existence.

The two of them were transformed within seconds, dashing away from the most obvious windows they might be seen.

"Hold onto me," Mami said, reaching out her hand. To her surprise, Homura complied without hesitation, and Mami paused to wrap her arm around Homura's waist. She reached her free hand to the sky, catching a ribbon that formed in the air as they were lifted high, high above the city streets.

* * *

There were many wraiths – more than expected, at least – and it was sunset as they destroyed the last of them. The range of their weapons plus the mobility their magic allowed made wraith-hunting even easier, and even when they got crowded in together, they moved as if they had been fighting together for months rather than minutes. When it was finally over, Mami's ribbons stretched about in every direction, mostly in bridges connecting the rooftops together, but some hanging a hundred feet below where Mami had flung the winged meguca into the air to clear the area.

The bridges made it easier to retrace their steps and collect grief cubes, and a Kyubey arrived shortly, just watching them from a distance.

There were moments in the fighting where Mami was acutely aware of how much they were touching and how little they had to speak to know what the other wanted them to do. At first, they split up to grab grief cubes more quickly, but by the time they were on their third roof, Mami tired of that – this newfound chemistry emboldened her, and she didn't want it to disappear with the setting sun.

"Homura," Mami started, brushing her hair behind her hair nervously.

Homura glanced up, quirking an eyebrow curiously. Before Mami could continue, though, Homura closed the gap between them and offered out her hand, a small pile of grief cubes in her palm.

She said, "Here, you've got other people to look out for. Why don't you-"

Mami didn't need to be told twice, and Homura was acting awfully cute. Mami reached out and placed her hand over Homura's, not immediately picking up the grief cubes in favor of holding the contact. A sharp smile cute across her face as Homura nervously met her gaze again, but this time, her pulse was already high enough she couldn't feel any more anxious about this.

"Thank you," Mami said, squeezing Homura's hand before taking the grief cubes.

Homura broke eye contact as soon as their hands weren't touching, returning her attention to the look for grief cubes.

Mami didn't move, however, crossing her arms over her chest, the smile not dropping from her face. She tried, for the third and last time, to say what she wanted to say, "Homura, do you like girls?"

Homura spun back towards Mami, eyes wide.

Mami expected some sort of stumbling response, but Homura quickly regained her composure and asked, "What do you mean?"

It was guarded and keen, self-protective, not an innocent question. It was almost the same as an answer.

Mami cleared the distance between them confidently, and Homura did not respond beyond looking up at her as she got quite close. Mami placed a finger under her chin as if she were going to kiss her, holding that intense stare that Homura always had, the one that Mami hoped today truly held another girl instead of whatever Homura pretended lied underneath.

Mami spoke softly but quickly, "I'm asking: if I ask you out for tea again this weekend, would you recognize I'm not asking as a concerned friend or as a magical girl, but because I liked the Homura I met today, and I'd like to see her again?"

She didn't reply quickly, but it wasn't the dreadful silence their conversations had before – they were nervous and breathing quickly as if the fight had ended only a minute ago, and for a moment Mami knew they both wondered if they'd kiss.

Homura said softly, "Yes."


	2. (I'm not) Your Type

**Summary:** Mami takes Homura out on a date to three different cafes. They're both a little rough on dating.

* * *

Nothing initially felt different when Mami woke up the following day. She got up, got dressed, prepared her food, snapped her hair and makeup in place with a dash of magic, and made her way out the door. But it was something about walking into the cold air that reminded her what happened yesterday, and pushed her into a daze.

She had asked Homura Akemi out on a date.

It ate up her entire walk to the school asking herself just how lonely she must be to ask out someone she genuinely doesn't know. Sure, she had gotten a glimpse of sincerity from Homura yesterday - a first glimpse after three years of cold stares from the distance and carefully avoiding each other while wraith hunting. But if she paused for half a second (or mulled on it for an hour), she couldn't find any evidence that she was truly interested in Homura. By the time she reached the campus, she had all but talked herself into texting Homura to ignore everything she had said after their battle yesterday.

"Mami! MAMI!"

Madoka's voice cut through Mami's rumination, and Mami glanced around. Madoka waved, Sayaka and Kyouko in tow, until they said their greetings and started walking in a line like any other day.

 _Relax. Stop thinking about Homura, it's time to-_

"Homura, hey," Madoka greeted.

For a brief moment, Mami thought she might have been projecting her thoughts for everyone to hear, but then Homura appeared in view, walking briskly past the line of magical girls. She slowed, casting a glance back and a brief, "Hello." Before Mami could even try a warm greeting and maybe casually add Homura into the line, Homura sped off again.

Mami knew, now, that Homura probably wished she could walk with the others, talk and laugh like they did every morning. Maybe, if she shared this desire with the others - even just Madoka - it would be enough for them all to be more friendly towards her.

She settled on talking less and smiling more.

* * *

 **Homura:** where are we going this weekend?

The text came halfway through lunch and Mami felt utterly unprepared for it. Did Homura actually want to go out with her? Or was she being cautious?

 **Mami:** I have three ideas.  
 **Mami:** But I can't really narrow them down.

Homura texted back almost immediately.

 **Homura:** why not try all three, then?

 **Mami:** That will take a while...  
 **Mami:** Probably hours?

 **Homura:** I'm not really doing anything but hunting wraiths this weekend

Mami stared dumbfounded for a moment. Was Homura providing excuses to spend even more time with her?

 **Mami:** OK  
 **Mami:** Let's do it :)

Mami sat on the last message, finger hovering over the **Send** button.

"I don't think I've ever seen you text this much when we're all here."

When Mami looked up, Sayaka stared back with smug mischief.

"Pardon?"

Sayaka quirked her eyebrows and stage-whispered, "When'd you get a boyfriend?"

Mami just replied with a flat stare and an even flatter, "That isn't very funny."

Thankfully, Sayaka let it go before it drew the others' attention. When Madoka glanced over to figure out what was going on, Mami just gave her a reassuring smile and shook her head.

 _It's nothing,_ Mami said to her, and Madoka just nodded.

Mami picked her phone back up and hit **Send**.

* * *

The domains of magical girls were always odd. The longer they maintained them, the more warped they became to fit their psyche - something to do with the constant presence of magic, according to Kyubey. Mami had never stepped inside Homura's domain, but Homura had lived here for years, and even the exterior - the architecture, the streets - was warped into sharp, unnerving symmetry. Stepping towards the door made Mami felt like she was entering the painting of a child who had just learned two-point perspective drawing, and everything looked both flat and slanted.

She knocked on the door and waited quietly, unable to ignore the feeling that the neighbors were watching her, had no choice but to watch her.

Homura appeared in the portal a moment later. She wore a black turtleneck, a pleated purple skirt, and dark purple tights; if Mami ever saw her in bright colors, she just might die of shock.

"There was really no need for you to escort me to the tea shop, you know," was the first thing out of Homura's mouth, which Mami took to mean _Wow you look so cute!_

Mami just gave a benign smile and took a step back so Homura could lock up her domain - the place had an awful lot of key holes.

"Perhaps not - but as your senior, it's only right that I make sure you reach your destination safely, isn't it?"

For a brief second, Mami thought she saw a smirk cross Homura's face, but by the next it was tranquil again.

* * *

"So, Homura, what do you like to do - outside of being a magical girl?"

She stared down at her tea while considering that one, stirring slowly.

She said, "Well . . . I didn't exactly have many hobbies when I was younger. But I spent a lot of my time being sick at home, so I read a lot. I also kind of like people watching . . . I know that's a little weird."

Mami shook her head to dismissively, and Homura tacked on, "I also started watching anime in middle school, but I haven't really had the time in . . . a while. What about you?"

"Hmm."

Mami was doing her best to savor the tea, but knowing that she was going to have a minimum of two more cups plus snacks made her feel like she had to drink it down as quick as she could.

"Well, I suppose I mostly bake when I'm not trying to catch up on school work. I liked all sorts of crafts as a kid, but since I got my conjurations, I mostly make stuff with magic. I like being able to make little characters - key chains, dolls, and stuff - out of nothing. It's not intrinsically rewarding in the same way baking is, but it makes the girls happy. Makes them feel normal, I think."

Homura kept looking down at her tea. She swept her hair back and asked, "How _are_ the girls doing?"

Now that was something easy to talk about. Mami set her cup down and leaned against the table, propping her head up on her hand.

"You've probably met somewhere along the line, but Nagisa Momoe joined us recently."

Homura tilted her head to the side curiously and asked, "The . . . sweets girl?"

Mami nodded. "That's right - she used her wish on a cake, so she has a rather adorable theme. We're still not totally sure what kind of magic she has, though. Support-oriented, whatever it is. I'd hate to think about her as a lone magical girl."

Homura didn't reply, so Mami just continued, "Plus, there's Sayaka and Kyouko - they're fighting all the time about dumb stuff, unfortunately."

"Oh," Homura cut in, "That sounds like it could get dangerous."

Mami shrugged. "Mostly for the furniture? And like, Kyouko's arcade machines I suppose."

A smile crept up on her face, sparked by all the times they spent _not_ actively destroying their environment. Kyouko had been so slow to confess her feelings and Sayaka had been even slower to pick up on them, much to their friends' annoyance. They were also terrible at acting like a couple, still picking on each other and chasing each other around like a pair of middle schoolers instead of feeding each other pieces of each others' lunches or whatever they're supposed to do.

She said, "They're awfully cute when they're not fighting, though."

"Cute?" Homura asked, clearly confused by the word choice.

Mami waved away the question before reaching down for her tea. "Oh, you know. I just like it when they do coupley stuff. Makes hanging out more fun."

Homura's face turned blank, unreadable. After a moment, she asked, "Couple-y?"

"Um. Yes." Mami took a sip of her tea and placed it back down. "Sayaka and Kyouko . . . they're a couple. As in the dating kind."

"I had - I had no idea. When did that even start?"

Mami glanced up, trying to remember - and trying to ignore how uncomfortable Homura looked. "Maybe a year ago? Maybe a little longer . . . but they were definitely both first-years at the time."

Homura looked absolutely mortified. By the time her expression brought up enough discomfort in Mami to ask if she was all right, Homura said, "I thought they were rivals who barely managed to work as a team, not . . . girlfriends."

Mami laughed, delighted at that description. "I suppose they do look like that most of the time, but no. Maybe they were a little hostile for the first few weeks, but they're about as in love as two kids can get. It's adorable, really. Especially Sayaka - she's so hesitant to admit that she loves Kyouko, but once she starts talking about it she's just an absolute wreck."

Homura just looked baffled, which was worth its weight in gold for how much it made Mami laugh. By the time she'd calmed down and Homura had wrapped her head around the news, Homura had a new question.

"How is . . . Miss Kaname, then? Madoka."

"Hmm." _How is Madoka doing?_

As far as Mami could tell, Madoka was well. Every recent memory she could think of involved lots of smiles and laughter, even when it was mixed in with fighting - despite all of Mami's cautions, Madoka wasn't even scared of fighting. For a long time, Mami thought that meant she was being reckless, but Madoka was more likely to bail the rest of them out of trouble than the other way around.

"She's good. She's better than ever, I think - she's doing well in school, and she's happiest when she has her friends together, which is . . . just about every day."

Mami took the final sip of her tea and said quietly, "To be quite honest, I don't think I've ever made a better decision than asking Madoka to become a magical girl."

Homura didn't reply, her face characteristically sullen and empty. Mami knew she had heard her, but if there was anything going on beyond that endless stare, she had no way of knowing.

After more than a minute of silence, Homura murmured, "It sounds nice."

The crack in Homura's façade brought with it a feeling of déjà vu. Instinctively, Mami placed her tea cup down and lay her hand halfway across the table, as if offering it to hold.

"You know, Homura, if you wanted to be, I'm sure you'd be welcomed into the group. We'd all be happy to have you with us." She wasn't entirely sure that was true - Madoka would probably be happy as long as they got along, but Mami doubted they'd all get along - but it felt like the right thing to say at the time.

For probably the first time Mami had seen, Homura's posture closed in on itself - she shrank back in her chair, rubbing at the back of her sleeve nervously.

Homura said, "I don't think . . . um. I think I'm too scared of what the others would think of me, to be honest. Not everyone is like you, Mami."

Mami wanted to protest, but doubt held her tongue. It would take Sayaka a long time to ever trust Homura, at the very least. What the others had expressed about Homura even before they knew she was a fellow magical girl had not been very kind, and Mami could hardly guarantee it would be different just because she wanted it to be. She didn't know how to brute-force friendship like Madoka seemed to be able to.

"Well," Mami started with a smile, "at the very least, you can spend some more time with me."

The silence returned suddenly, but this time it was tense, filled with a discomfort that made Mami sure she'd said the wrong thing.

"Mami . . ." Homura started, so quiet that Mami was sure she wasn't supposed to hear. Homura said, "Um, Mami. I honestly can't tell if you're trying to comfort me . . . or if you're trying to date me."

"Both, I think," Mami replied quickly, laughing as a blush and surprise crossed Homura's face.

"Look," she said, "I'll admit it, I don't want a fellow magical girl to go it alone. That sucks and I don't think you deserve it. But, if we're doing honesty now, I also recognize something familiar in you. You're beautiful, you're fearless, and you know what I'm going through - which are, admittedly, important points."

Mami leaned on her elbow, hand still sitting halfway across the table. "I like that you're a magical girl . . . and I like that you're a girl, too."

Mami had never seen Homura blush before, and she was taking no small pleasure in it now.

Visibly antsy, Homura whispered, "I like girls too."

Emboldened, Mami bat her eyes and said _Oh?_ before asking aloud, "And what kind of girls do you like, Homura Akemi?"

Watching Homura squirm was enough to make Mami discard the idea that asking her out had been a mistake altogether, but Homura didn't seem to get past the squirming. She started with 'I . . .' a few times, then dropped off to nothing, until eventually Mami took the hint that Homura probably had no idea what she liked in girls yet. It's confusing enough figuring out romance as a magical girl, but it must be even worse as that kind of magical girl. Mami herself probably wouldn't have recognized her interest if she wasn't friends with Sayaka and Kyouko these past few years.

"We can talk about something else if you want to-" Mami started.

She was quickly cut off by Homura saying, as if rushed to get the words out: "I like girls with a believing heart. I like the tenderness that emerges from hope - that thing that I used to see as fragility, to be protected. But it should be nurtured, I think. I want to nurture that in people."

"Hope?" Mami asked, quirking an eyebrow. She couldn't believe the word 'nurture' was making its way out of Homura's mouth at all. Perhaps she really hadn't ever had a clue what Homura was really like.

Homura nodded eagerly. "Yes. Absolutely."

Mami smiled admiringly. As she looked into Homura's eyes, she told herself that the emptiness she had seen there for so long must only be a projection, that deep down, Homura was sweet and tender, or at least could be, given the chance. It shone like a candle's flame inside her, and Mami felt drawn to it, drawn to the feeling of sameness and connection. Would it hurt to touch that flame?

Without even thinking about it, Mami said, "Well, I don't think I'm your type then . . ."

She hadn't meant it the way it must have sounded - it was that sameness that she liked, after all - but what she said only took shape in her head when she saw Homura's expression abruptly fall into cold discomfort. The candle was snuffed out behind Homura's eyes as they both grew quiet.

Mami swallowed nervously after a moment and said, _Please . . . forget what I just said._

Homura only nodded in agreement, and they didn't speak further at the shop.

* * *

They kept the conversation light at the second shop, preferring to fade into silence any time a conversation might turn into anything weighty - or anything at all. So really, most of the conversation focused on their food - matcha tea cake with cream cheese frosting and vanilla ice cream. A little rich for the early afternoon, maybe, but Mami had noticed a long time ago her body didn't seem to care what she ate anymore. The fact that it looked pretty mattered more than anything else, really.

At some point, Homura said, "You know, I just really love sweet things. So this is nice."

And Mami asked, "Would it be OK if I made you cake at some point?"

Homura's eyes were wide as she replied, "You don't have to do that."

Mami said, "I won't if you don't want me to."

Homura swallowed nervously, looked down at her plate in contemplation, then said, "I think I'd like that."

And it got just a little bit easier for them to talk again.

* * *

It was mid-afternoon as they were making their way to the last shop, which was unreasonably far away from the other two and Mami never would have recommended it - except that it was a pop-up shop based on _Sailor Moon_ , and there was no way she could pass up on the irony. Or the cosplayers, to be honest.

"Uh."

The two magical girls had been content to just walk together quietly for the past half-hour, so Mami was quick to pick up on the break in the silence and look at Homura.

Homura swallowed and said, "You know, when you said that you're not my type, I don't think that's entirely true."

Mami quirked her eyebrows with a telepathic _Oh?_ but said nothing.

Homura started again, "I see some of that shine - that hope that I like - in you, Mami. And, and there are some other things I like about you, too."

Casually as she could, Mami replied with an immediate, "Like what?"

Homura was back to blushing, and for a moment she stayed quiet. This time, at least, Mami understood that it took Homura a moment to say anything embarrassing (re: personal).

"You look . . . very soft and gentle."

Mami laughed and said, "Oh, hardly! I blow up monsters with guns just about every day - sometimes twice a day!"

"I - I know that," Homura said, flustered, but then doubled down, "It's just that - your hands. They look really soft."

Mami snickered, raising her hand to inspect it. She used her magic probably too much on aesthetics - keeping her hands clean, her nails painted, her hair curled, and so on - but that did hide evidence of the work she did as a magical girl. She'd like to say that was intentional, clever even, but the truth was she just couldn't give up on femininity no matter how little it did for her anymore.

She glanced at Homura and offered out her hand. "You can hold them, if you're curious."

"Oh, okay!" Homura's reply sounded genuinely enthusiastic, but she made no move to take Mami's hand.

When she realized Homura wasn't going to take her hand, Mami dropped it back down to her side. She chuckled, hoping that hid her embarrassment.

However, the embarrassment grew and grew inside of her, until Mami was quickly forced to ask, "Do you not . . . want to?"

"That's not . . . it," Homura replied, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

Mami waited patiently for an explanation, until Homura said, "I guess I just don't . . . touch people very often. Or at all. I kind of have weird issues with personal space . . . and on top of that, my skin is really sensitive. Especially my hands and arms - I, um, I avoided holding hands as a child. Even with my parents. It was just so . . . much."

Mami still hadn't gotten used to Homura speaking frankly with her, and it took her a minute to wrap her head around Homura having actual reasons for acting the way she did beyond standoffish antagonism. The embarrassment from earlier was dying away, but there was still a smoldering shame.

Shame from having misunderstood Homura for so long.

Shame from thinking Homura deserved to be alone.

Shame that the recognition of Homura's humanity made her want Homura closer, to touch her, even in response to being told she probably wouldn't like that.

It wasn't a bad shame, just a reminder that she still had some growing up to do.

"Well," Mami said, "it's a standing offer."

Another smirk played on Homura's lips briefly, along with a quiet, "Thank you."

* * *

A few minutes later, as Mami was looking for directions to the pop-up cafe, she felt delicate fingers weave between her own. She wanted to act surprised, but all Homura's touch brought out in her was a want to be touched more - to be held, kissed, pet, played with. It might even be okay to tell Homura she would like those things; they were on a date, after all.

She settled on talking less and smiling more.

She could be patient.

(She wasn't the only one.)


	3. (This can never be) Where I Belong

**Summary:** Homura is exhausted after days of fighting wraiths - the end of the holiday season invites them relentlessly into the city. Mami orders her to go home, only to find her swarmed by wraiths a few hours later.

They have their first fight - and their first kiss.

* * *

"Homura, hey."

It took Mami a few seconds to even recognize who Madoka was speaking to. Unlike most days, Homura Akemi was not briskly making her way past the other magical girls as if she couldn't wait to make it to school - instead, they were passing her.

Homura paused, looking over her shoulder. Her eyes were sunken and slightly unfocused, and she had red lines under her eyes from lack of sleep. She didn't even bother with a reply, just looked forward, avoiding eye contact with all of them as they walked on by.

* * *

 _"I think Homura might be sick_ ," came Madoka's voice halfway through Mami's Japanese Literature class.

 _She wasn't looking great this morning. Maybe she should see a nurse?_ Mami replied, closing her eyes so she could sense the other magical girls in the school. At the very least, Homura's soul gem was as easy to find as everyone else's - maybe she just had the flu or something?

A few minutes later, Homura's voice appeared in Mami's head. _"Did you put Madoka up to this?"_ she asked.

 _Up to what?_ Mami replied, although the answer was almost certainly 'yes.'

 _"She's dragging me out of math and it was really awkward."_

 _Oh my, that must be so hard for you, given how much you care about everyone's opinion of you._

When Homura didn't reply, Mami added, _Oh, and yes, I did._

Homura's response came a few seconds later as a text.

 **Homura:** rude

* * *

Mami was packed and ready as soon as second period let out so she could run over to the nurse's office. She hadn't had much reason to go in all of her time here, given that she could heal herself and others with magic and everything, so it took her several minutes until she eventually just asked a fellow student for directions.

When she arrived, she was surprised to find Madoka and Homura both sitting on a bench outside. She slowed her pace immediately, but it mattered little - Madoka caught sight of her immediately and waved, and she just had to pick the pace back up to avoid looking weird.

Madoka picked up her bag and stood up as soon as Mami reached them. "I've got to get to class before next period starts . . . I'll see you later, though! Get some sleep!"

Mami just kept an amused smile on her face as Madoka walked past her and waved back at them before disappearing down the hall. Homura's eyes lingered just a moment longer, but Mami was quick to attribute that to her haggard state.

"So," Mami said, "you haven't been sleeping much? What's up?" She dropped into the seat beside Homura, given that she didn't seem to be in a hurry to get to her next class.

Homura shrugged. "The miasma has been so thick at night these past few nights . . . the wraiths just haven't stopped coming."

Mami knew that, of course, but she hadn't actually factored how that affected Homura up until now. She and the other girls had been taking shifts, evening and night, to make sure everyone had time to do their school work and sleep, plus Kyouko had been plenty willing to ditch the past two days to make up for doing the night shift by sleeping all day. But Homura had no way of knowing when they would have a handle on the flood of wraiths, and when they wouldn't. At the very least, she had probably been out every night when most people were asleep, but at worst, she hadn't taken any breaks - not for days.

"How long has it been since you've slept?" Mami asked, concerned.

Homura deflated slowly as she sighed, doing her best to think. "Three . . . four days? Probably?"

Mami gasped a little too dramatically, but decided to roll with it to get her way. She lept to her feet, pointed a finger down at Homura, and demanded, "You. Go home right now. Take a nap. Do it."

"But I-"

"Nuh-ah-ah. No. I swear to God I will punch your very pretty little mouth for every word you spend trying to argue with me. Go to bed."

To her surprise, Homura lifted her hand to her mouth and giggled. She tossed her hair back and looked up with a playfulness that completely caught Mami off guard. "You think my _mouth_ is pretty, huh?"

Mami put her hands on her hips and said, "Yeah. You're . . . really goddamn pretty, whatever. Now go."

Homura giggled again, but this time she just replied, "Okay, okay."

* * *

Even if she mostly leveraged it for flirting, Homura's condition this morning struck an anxious chord inside Mami. When Nagisa finally arrived for lunch, Mami cleared her throat and used her Announcement Voice.

"So . . . I know these past few days have been kind of grueling, and I want to make sure everyone is taking care of themselves. As such, I want you all to take this evening off - I'll handle the wraiths. Someone can switch with me tonight, but most of you should stay home tonight."

Everyone glances around at each other for a moment, then Sayaka elbows Kyouko in the ribs. Kyouko just gives her a glare as Sayaka says, "Don't worry, we'll switch with you at midnight."

Kyouko didn't look terribly pleased about that, but she didn't offer any complaints, and they were the ones Mami was going to ask to switch with her anyway.

Nagisa raised her hand to get Mami's attention, then said, "If you allow me to accompany you, I'm certain we can keep their numbers down."

Mami shook her head and said sternly, "No, that just defeats the point. Plus, I _know_ you have a presentation coming up on Friday, and I bet you haven't even started. Just stay-"

"I started," Nagisa interjected, miffed. "A little . . ."

As Mami stared her down, though, she finally relented and said, "So I shall . . . continue my work."

Mami swapped her glare for a bright smile and said, "Awesome! Then Madoka - you and I can clean things up around dawn if we have to.

"You gaw 't!" Madoka replied through a mouthful of sandwich.

* * *

About an hour after sunset that evening, Mami was doing her best to stay above the miasma on the highest rooftops, making long shots and re-positioning every minute or so to make sure the wraiths didn't lock her down. She knew this would all have been easier if she'd brought Madoka or Nagisa along, but she couldn't stand the thought of them messing up their grades because they'd exhausted themselves from days of fighting. Being a team meant looking out for each other - especially those who most needed looking after.

However, she started to become suspicious that re-positioning was pointless - despite how thick the miasma was throughout the city, she wasn't dealing with an unusual number of wraiths. Either someone was clearing them out below and she hadn't noticed, or else something was drawing them to a different part of the city. In either case, that could mean trouble - a new magical girl in town could cause just as many problems as a horde of wraiths descending on a populated area.

When she was fairly sure she was safe, Mami took a second to close her eyes and concentrate, looking for traces of magic elsewhere in the city. Even at this distance, she could feel the faint resonance of her friends' soul gems, but none of them were actively using magic. It took her another minute before she realized she could sense one more trace - distant, but not unfamiliar. Homura.

 _Homura!_

Mami opened her eyes and started running, using her ribbons to cross rooftops as quickly as she could. Now that she knew where she was going, it didn't take her long to locate the source of the magic - or where the wraiths had all gone.

Homura Akemi's wings, black as night, held her aloft over a city square dozens of stories below. Wraiths stood in rings around her while she picked them off one at a time, but their numbers were so great it barely mattered. Mami kept running, trying to break through the ring of wraiths by blasting through a line, but she wasn't quite fast enough.

A wraith reached out into the sky, its horrifying body stretching further than any flesh would allow, and Homura turned to face it only in time for it to reach for her hand and gently, gently touch her soul gem.

Her wings disappeared, and she began to fall.

"HOMURA!"

Mami reached the last building and she was still so far away - she conjured two muskets and fired them into the roof below her, their recoil launching her into the air before disintegrating into nothing. A web of ribbons stretched out from the rooftops, forming a net too slowly to actually catch Homura. Mami pulled the ribbon from her hair, transmuting it and throwing it after the falling girl.

It wrapped around her ankle maybe twenty stories above the ground, but to Mami it felt close, far too close.

With all of her strength, she swung Homura up onto a nearby rooftop before falling through her own net. Catching herself was much easier though, and once she tethered herself to the net, she used one more musket blast to propel herself onto the roof next to Homura.

The first thing Mami realized was that Homura was on her hands and knees, gasping for air. It took only seconds to clear the roof with a burst of conjured muskets, and then Mami ran to Homura's side.

Homura's soul gem was dark and murky, the worst that Mami had ever seen. If she had been a minute later, Homura could have-

"Why did you let it get this bad?!" Mami asked, yelling. "You could have died!"

It took Homura a few seconds to get the breath to speak. Then she said, "I . . . haven't had a chance to collect any grief cubes for a few hours. I had . . . to keep flying to stay out of reach. Ran out."

"Damn it," Mami replied, quieter now. She reached into her pocket and pulled out two grief cubes she kept around for emergencies - there were plenty around, but she didn't love the idea of trying to spot them while the wraiths got closer. "Use these," she said, "and contact the other girls - _any_ girls in range. I'll keep us clear 'til then."

There were wraiths on either side of them now, and as Homura took the grief cubes in hand, Mami stood back up, summoning a circle of muskets from her hat. It was enough to hold them back for a minute, but when she was just sitting and taking pot shots, most of them could dodge the musket blasts. Their numbers were growing. Too many even for her.

Homura had her hand clutched to her chest, soul gem shining as she burned what little magic she had to make a beacon. That minute would have to be enough. Mami offered out her hand and said, "Get up and hold onto me."

They ran hand in hand to the edge of the roof, falling with sickening speed until Mami's ribbons caught them, finally dropping them a few feet from the ground.

There were thousands of people here, walking between shops and checking out the holiday pop-ups everywhere. The wraiths may have been drawn to Homura's struggle, but they would stay for the people, even if they were not the ones whose despair created them. Wraiths in great numbers had few weaknesses, and even fewer fears.

"We have to hide until they get here. Transform - now!"

* * *

They get out of the square as soon as possible, finding themselves in an alley behind a mega-restaurant/resort. Back in their high school uniforms, they must look like two high school girls getting themselves lost on one of the busiest days of the year, but nobody paid them much mind.

"Why?" Mami finally asked, pissed. "Why are you out here fighting when you should be resting?"

Homura wasn't in the mood for Mami's frustration, however. "Because the miasma came early, and it kept me awake - I can't just ignore this."

Mami gesticulated wildly with her hands whenever she was stressed enough, which happened to include right now. "I wasn't asking you to ignore it, I was asking you to let me handle it for one - one! - night. If you're out of commission, it's a rough night, but if you're dead, it's only going to get worse."

Homura clenched her fists - something Mami was pretty sure she'd never seen her do. "I can't just 'let you handle it' - killing wraiths is my responsibility!"

In lieu of their ever-escalating, shouted replies, Mami slapped Homura across the face. It wasn't enough to hurt, considering what they go through on a daily basis, but the message was clear enough.

Homura just glared.

"Your responsibility is to not die just as much as it is to save people, Homura. You're no good to anyone if you're dead."

Homura doesn't reply, and at first, Mami thinks she's too angry to respond. That is, until Homura's wings formed on her back - ethereal, terrifying wings - and Mami looked behind herself. A half-dozen wraiths leered at them from nearby rooftops, behind windows, through a commercial advertising plasma-screen TVs. And when she turned back towards Homura, even more crept into view, blocking off their escape in either direction.

Mami raised her hand and waved down, saying, "Put your wings away. We just have to hold them off - and we have to conserve magic. We'll-"

Mami stopped mid-sentence as a grating trumpet blast ripped through the alleyway, wraiths crumpling under the harsh sound. There was a pause, then another blast, and the wraiths gathered behind them were ripped apart.

"Incoming!" came a voice from above, then a gust of wind as Nagisa cushioned her fall with magic.

"Nagisa?" Homura asked, dumbfounded, but the young girl ignored her.

Undeterred from the blasts, wraiths continued to flash closer and closer to them. They had only seconds before they would be surrounded.

Nagisa stepped forward, changed her fingering on the trumpet, and played again. This time, however, instead of a sonic blast there came a great rush of fog, enveloping the whole area and cutting off all visibility in the direction the wraiths were coming from.

"Let's go," Mami said, offering her hand once again to Homura. She took it without pause, the motion rapidly becoming practiced, and the three of them fled back before Mami lifted them into the sky on her golden ribbons.

* * *

Once they were far enough to be safe, Mami pulled Nagisa into a tight hug and said, "Thank you for showing up so fast, Nagisa. You really saved us."

Homura was still catching her breath as Mami and Nagisa ended their hug, and Nagisa scratched the back of her neck, bashful. "I was maybe . . . seeking out a distraction in the first place."

As much as she wanted to scold her, Mami decided, under the circumstances, that head pats were due instead. Nagisa beamed for a moment at the validation, before they were rudely interrupted by Sayaka's telepathy.

 _"Yo, we're here."_

Mami took a look around and asked, "Uh, where?"

From just below the edge of the roof, they heard a loud, "Right-" then lost track of Sayaka's voice as she jumped to the wall opposite of where they were, and finally leaped over to the same rooftop as them, "- here." Kyouko arrived a few seconds later, clearly peeved.

"You cheated!" Kyouko said, coming to stand in a circle with everyone else.

"Jumping on a wraith instead of killing it is not cheating, just lazy," Sayaka replied, clearly stuck between wanting to brag and not wanting to look like a complete idiot in front of her other friends - and Homura.

Kyouko didn't have the same shame, though, and loudly called, "Boo! Boo! Why race if you're not going to try-hard it?"

"What can I say, I'm not a try-hard like you," Sayaka remarked, while everyone just shot her deeply awkward smiles.

Kyouko rolled her eyes with a, "Whatever."

After a few seconds of quiet, Sayaka gestures over at Homura and says, "Ah, hey Akemi. What're you doing here?" If she meant to sound casual, it didn't work - it just sounded suspicious.

"She's been fighting for too long and she's used up her magic - we had to team up," Mami replied.

Kyouko, clearly a little amused, looked at Homura and asked, "Are you like, some kind of idiot?"

Homura, by this point, had recovered, but now that everyone was here she just dropped into her default silence, staring at Sayaka and Kyouko like she was looking right through them. She didn't grace Kyouko's question with a reply.

Mami decided to ignore her as well, and said, "Look, I know I wanted to give everyone the night off, but I think things are just too intense right now - we'll have to hold them back until the holidays are over. Do you two think you can handle it around here while I take Homura home?"

"Sure thing," Kyouko replied without missing a beat. "The wraiths are hanging down low a lot today - should be easy pickings."

Puzzled, Homura quietly asked, "You're . . . taking me home?"

"Yeah," Mami replied, offering out her hand (the gesture didn't escape the other magical girls' notice), "right now."

Homura hesitated for a few seconds, but then reached out and grabbed Mami's hand. The two of them walked to the edge of the room and once more leaped to the city streets below.

* * *

Homura's exhaustion got the better of her before long once they got on the tram, and she collapsed against Mami's shoulder. Once she settled into sleep, Mami felt comfortable enough to wrap her arm around her, holding her close enough that she wouldn't slip while she rested.

The minutes ticked by while the tram crossed the entire town, and Homura's murky soul gem churned with corruption around her finger. Somewhere in these minutes, Mami idly began to stroke Homura's hair, fascinated with how soft and straight it was. It didn't take her long to get why she liked flipping it so much - just running your fingers through it was soothing.

There in the harsh light and cold metal of the tram, Mami felt a candle light inside her. Adoration grew alongside shame. Beautiful. Fearless. Soft. And maybe . . . a little self-sacrificing. Like attracts like.

Gently, gently, Mami pressed a kiss to Homura's hair, afraid of waking her.

A short while later, Mami fished out a handful of grief cubes she'd picked up as they were making their exit. The light of the tram flickered for just a second, but that was all the time it took for Kyubey to suddenly be sitting opposite of them, watching curiously.

 _"This is quite the interesting development!"_ he said, his stare unblinking, as always. _"You two really have become friends."_

 _I guess we have,_ Mami replied, pressing the grief cubes to the ring on Homura's finger, the corruption quickly draining away to leave it shining, a bright violet star. Mami tossed the cubes, and Kyubey caught them gracefully, as always.

 _"I'm afraid the others need me more right now - I'll be going."_

 _See you, Kyubey._

And with another flicker of the lights, he vanished.

A moment later, Homura lifted her ring-bearing hand up to her face, then sat up straight. Mami withdrew her arm so they could sit separately, not failing to notice the subtle pink in Homura's cheeks.

A minute or two passes in silence before Homura asks, "Are you - are you still mad at me?"

 _Ah, there's the guilt._ It didn't take much to bring it flooding in, but Mami could tell there was still anger buried under it.

Mami smiled weakly and said, "A little, I think. I'm still . . . worried about you."

More silence. Mami desperately wished she could spend more time knowing what Homura was thinking, that she didn't have to pick her words so carefully, even as she recognized that that was never the point. It wasn't secrets hiding behind Homura's mask, just a girl who needed a little more time to say what was going on in her head.

Homura said, "I haven't . . . had anyone to worry about me for a long time. My parents are still alive, but I wrote myself out of their memories the day I became a magical girl." She paused, but this time only briefly; "Being worried about makes me feel so uneasy, like I'm taking up space in a place I don't belong."

This time, it was Mami who needed to consider her words carefully. Slowly, she asked, "Are you . . . trying to earn a place to belong? Is that why you're trying so hard?"

Homura just stayed silent, though after a few minutes she took Mami's hand and squeezed.

Somewhere in the long stretch of quiet that followed, Homura thought one more thing: _"Never hit me again."_

There were so many excuses that Mami wanted to give herself, some out from the shame she felt. She did her best to remind herself of shame's value, of what she needed to do better.

 _I won't. I promise. And I'm sorry._

* * *

They continued holding hands all the way from the station to Homura's home, occasionally swinging their arms just to test out the feeling of connection. It wasn't until they were right in front of Homura's door, stuck in that awful two-point-perspective space, that Mami finally worked up the nerve to say what was on her mind.

When they finally let go of each other's hands, they just looked at each other for a moment, the tension too thick to end the night, the past day too crazy to make anything easy to say.

Mami said, "I want to worry about you."

Homura only cocked her head to the side, not understanding.

Mami took a breath in the frigid air and said, "I . . . want it to be okay that I'm thinking about you. I want it to be okay to look at you, kiss you, spend time with you."

Homura just looks like a deer in headlights. She asked, "So . . . what are you saying?"

Trembling from the cold and nervousness, Mami reached out and grabbed Homura's hands, drawing her closer, placing her hands on Mami's hips. She could see the way Homura's breathing hitched and she was sure, so sure that her heart was also racing. How was it possible to get this anxious this fast?

"I want you to be my friend - my real friend, that I can get to know, that I can see every day. I want to be close to you, Homura Ak-" but, before she could finish, Homura rose up on her toes, their faces barely an inch apart.

Mami let her eyes flutter and close, her words trailing away to nothing. Homura lingered there for a moment before she finally pulled Mami in the last inch against her. The kiss was long but still, as if (precisely because) Homura had no idea how to continue past that point. Mami raised a hand to cup Homura's cheek and kissed her again, just so Homura would know how much she wanted to, too.

It wasn't electric - it didn't leave them breathless or make Mami's heart stop or anything like that. Homura was clumsy and didn't know what to do with her hands so she kept them very, very still. And yet, Mami couldn't help but part from Homura with a big, goofy grin, because _she got the girl_ , and everything glowed from her delight.

Homura let out an unsteady breath, looked down for a second to compose herself, then back up at Mami. "Could I be your girlfriend instead?" she asked.

"Hmm," Mami hummed, pondering. After a few seconds, Homura's face pinched with suspicion, and Mami couldn't maintain the joke any longer; "Okay. I'd like that."

Mami pulled Homura into another kiss, doing her best to set a pace, let Homura figure out how to kiss her back properly. Just as she thought Homura was getting it, she tried gently biting Homura's lower lip.

And then Homura's legs literally buckled, Mami's reflexes the only thing saving her from collapsing on the ground.

Mami started to laugh. "Are you okay?!"

Flushed red, either from the kissing or embarrassment, Homura nodded. "Yeah, um, I'm totally fine. Just . . . tired. Rough . . . four straight days."

"Yeah, totally," Mami agreed, but the goofy grin was back and that only seemed to make Homura more embarrassed.

Homura pouted; "You're making fun of me!"

"I'm not, I swear," Mami said, kissing Homura's cheek, which promptly shut off any more protest.

They lingered there, unsure of whether to keep kissing, until Mami said, "You should . . . sleep."

"I should definitely sleep," Homura said, not moving or breaking eye contact.

Mami took a breath to steel herself, then pulled her hands from Homura's body. "You should for real sleep."

Homura swallowed and said, "Yeah."

Mami smiled, all sweetness now, and said, "Good night."

"Good night."

Mami just waved as Homura closed the door, giving her one last grin before it was really, truly good night.

As she turned to leave, she felt shiny and happy in a way she couldn't remember ever feeling before.


	4. (I love you)

**Summary:** The six magical girls live happily together. For now.

 **Note:** The cafe mentioned in this fic is Irrgarten, from the fic "Die Vorstellungen" by peachplumpurefraction on Ao3. I strongly suggest checking the fic out if you're interested in a character analysis of Homura . . . from the perspective of a cafe waitress.

* * *

The two girls spent New Years' together, and that night they decided it was time for a change.

* * *

"So, the thing I wanted to tell you all is . . . Homura and I are dating."

Madoka gasped loudly, but the news barely seemed to register on everyone else's face. Mami sat on a cushion along one edge of her table while Nagisa and Madoka sat with her; Sayaka and Kyouko sat on the couch because Kyouko liked to play with the stuffed animals.

Sayaka's stare was dead for a few seconds before replying, "Like, yeah, we already knew that?"

"What?!" Madoka cried, whipping around on her cushion to look back at Sayaka. "How'd you know?! I had no idea!"

Sayaka shrugged and said, "I thought it was obvious. I mean, they've been holding hands."

"WHAT?!"

Kyouko said, "Not to mention you took her home when she wasn't feeling well . . . not exactly subtle."

"You text only us," Nagisa said, "but I knew you had Homura's number as well. Who else would distract you so much but another magical girl?"

Mami did her best to glare at all of them for figuring it out and not telling her, but she could hardly blame them - especially with the hand-holding. She had only thought about how obviously strange she had been acting after she dropped Homura off that night two weeks ago. Plus, it probably would have felt rude just to ask her.

"You guys!" Madoka said, crossing her arms dramatically over her chest and pouting. "So everyone knew and nobody told me?!"

"Well, I was _trying_ to keep it quiet, but . . ." Mami hardened her glare for one second over Sayaka, but then just smiled, "but I guess I wasn't trying very hard. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Madoka - but to be honest, we only just started dating."

"Really?" Madoka asked, relieved. "When? How?"

"December 23," Mami replied quickly.

Now _that_ drew out some surprised looks.

"Seriously?" asked Sayaka, "It totally looked like you were already dating. What with the . . ." she raised her hand, then pointed to it as she opened and closed it. Then, just to make it clearer, she clasped her hands together.

"Hand holding?"

"Yeah, that's it," Sayaka said sagely, nodding.

Madoka's eyes darted around as if she were trying to solve an invisible math problem, muttering, "December 23 . . . 23 . . . oh!" She snapped her fingers, then gasped. "That was the day things got super dangerous, right?! And you saved Homura! - oh my goodness, that's so romantic!"

"It - it really wasn't," Mami replied, thinking over how poorly that rescue actually went. They hadn't gotten into a fight like that since, which was good, but it did bother her how explosive she'd been. That was not the type of girlfriend she wanted to be.

Mami swallowed, then continued, "The thing is . . . she wants to start hanging out with us. _I_ want her to start hanging out with us. I really like her and I want you all to like her, too."

Madoka raised her hand, grabbing everyone's attention, and announced: "I like her! I think Homura is cool!"

Mami shifted her glance pointedly to Sayaka, who matched it with a blank stare. Finally, grumbling, she said, "Like, I think she's kind of a dweeb but I'm not going to be mean to your girlfriend."

Kyouko leaned forward in her seat, crushing a very cute stuffed bear between her legs and chest. She said, "I'm pretty sure I remember her being really damn creepy - is she going to going to just sort of ambush us like she did in middle school?" Kyouko's eyes narrowed in suspicion, glancing at all of the hallways, the stairs; "Is she here now? That would be just like her."

Mami rolled her eyes, "No, she's not here, and no, she won't ambush us. She's a little awkward from being alone these past few years, but I promise, she's lovely. You'll all like her if you give her the chance."

Nagisa leaned forward against the small glass table, planting her cheek on the cool surface. She asked, "If you're the magical girl mother, and you're dating Homura, does that make her my co-mom?"

Mami chuckled. For some reason, the Mom joke wasn't bothering her as much as it used to.

She shrugged as big as she could and said, "Perhaps. I don't think she's very motherly, though."

"So, a dad?" Sayaka offered.

Everyone laughed but Madoka, her sincere and loving father keeping her from the joke.

"I suppose," Mami finally said with a smirk. "Just . . . be gentle with her."

"I have not been gentle, ever, in my whole damn life," Kyouko replied dryly.

Madoka giggled, then said, "Yeah, Sayaka could have told us that."

"HEY!"

* * *

As they all started to spend lunches together, Mami quickly came to notice something strange about Homura. Whenever things were quiet and everyone was just eating, Homura would stare at her food, but Mami realized she was just watching someone through her peripheral vision. She couldn't initially figure out who it might be that Homura felt the need to keep such close tabs on (Sayaka would make sense - she was the only person who quickly became comfortable playing jokes on Homura), no, not for a while.

But then there were other things, small things. Like, whenever one of the louder girls cut Madoka off when she was speaking, Homura would always pointedly look at Madoka, and Madoka would look at her and smile, then try and say her thing again. Or, weirdly often, Homura would pack too much food - food Madoka always happened to like, and was always offered to her first.

At first, Mami was just grateful that Homura was connecting with someone, making a friend. But it took less than a week for that to be displaced by a silent want to be the focus of both their attention, not each other.

She felt ashamed for that want, and decided not to bring it up with Homura. Jealousy is normal, isn't it? When you have a girlfriend?

* * *

"Doesn't this feel like a little . . . much?" Mami asked.

"What, my domain?" Sayaka asked, pushing through the sixth door in this seemingly endless hallway of doors and music show flyers. "Nah, I think it's cool."

Nagisa giggled, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. "I find it a bit amusing that you're the only one among us who can control your domain as you wish, and you didn't put in, I don't know, a conveyor?"

"Hey, now," Sayaka said, turning around and walking backwards (the doors just opened on their own, apparently), "I think the doors are cool. When the music's going you can really get a different experience based on which corridor you're in."

"I like it, too," Homura offered quietly, trailing with Mami in the back of the group.

"Do you know how much I had to complain to get her to add a vending machine? She insisted a buffet would ruin the aesthetic," Kyouko huffed. "I'm dating a monster."

"It's literally a vending machine with infinite options. It's awesome, don't be rude," Sayaka defended. Finally, pushing through the eleventh door, she said, "And voila!"

Madoka gasped as she stepped in alongside Sayaka.

"Oh . . . wow."

The place was enormous - a concert hall longer than a soccer field across, a massive ringed orchestra stand eating up barely a tenth of the floor space. Above them, multiple floors of seats surrounded the hall, which built towards a dome at least sixty feet above them. What the floor space was even _for_ was beyond Mami, beyond perhaps a tribute to Sayaka's ego at having created this place.

When Mami glanced at Homura, she was all but frozen, her eyes wide, slowing taking in the concert hall.

"You okay, hun?" Mami asked, gently tracing a circle into Homura's back.

As if she didn't hear her at all, Homura took a few slow steps into the hall and said, "Sayaka."

"Hm?" Sayaka asked, turning around. When she caught a look at Homura's expression, a smug smile crept on her face and she laced her fingers behind her head, clearly satisfied. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"H-how . . . how did you make this?" Homura asked.

"Oh, it's kind of a long story," Sayaka said, waving it off.

"Tell me."

Madoka and Mami both turned to look at Homura, unnerved by her sudden change in tone. Neither knew what to say.

Sayaka's face pinched, and she tapped the floor with her foot. "Yeah, okay," she said, dropping her hands down by her side. "Long story short, I guess - my wish was about healing this boy I had a crush on back in middle school. You probably know him-"

"Kyosuke Kamijo," Homura interjected. She wasn't asking.

Mami flashed Sayaka an apologetic smile, but she was clearly paying attention to Homura instead at the moment. "Uh, yeah, that's him. I wanted his arm to get better after an accident, but I also wanted to go out with him. I . . . I kind of wanted to own him, if you want to take the most fucked-up view of it."

Nagisa and Kyouko had made their way towards the center of the hall, but by this time, Kyouko had turned around, eavesdropping from a dozen paces away. Meanwhile, Nagisa stood in the center of the hall, put her arms out, and started to spin around to make herself dizzy.

Sayaka swallowed and continued, "That's . . . well. Some stuff happened. Kyouko came to town. My friend, Hitomi - she asked him out, and I was really hurt. For a little while, I even kind of regretted using my wish that way. I lashed out . . . and I was really depressed."

Homura hadn't moved her stare at all, and there was something dreadful in it. "And then what happened?"

Sayaka smiled a pinched, uncomfortable smile, scratching the back of her head. Then, she gave a little laugh and said, "Well, then Kyouko found me. And she was like . . . really mean to me about it, actually. But she told me I shouldn't regret my wish. But that I . . . I should figure out what I really wanted to live and fight for."

There were several seconds of silence. Then, murmuring, Madoka said, "Sayaka . . ."

Sayaka shook her head. And then she plastered a big, goofy grin on her face and said, "And - I did! It brought me to my lowest point, I think. It made me realize I hadn't become a magical girl to save people, or to be a champion for justice, or anything I wanted to be. I became a magical girl to hear Kyosuke play again. Because I wanted to spend more time with Mami and Madoka. I wanted to fight alongside Kyouko . . ." she blushed.

She said, "I wanted to stay with my friends because I love them, and that's all. And since then, I've had this place. And my soul gem, it's been . . . different."

Sayaka transformed her ring into a soul gem. Hers had looked strange for years now, but very neat, in Mami's opinion. Unlike the others, it didn't have a base or a crest, but a thin, spindly pin about as long as a finger, thin enough to hold up on your finger nail. Its characteristic blue shine glowed brightly from its heart.

Homura didn't respond. She just looked . . . paralyzed.

"HEY!" came Kyouko's shout, echoing throughout the hall. "ARE WE GONNA WATCH THIS ANIME OR NOT?"

"YES!" Madoka called back. "WE'RE COMING!"

There was absolutely no need to shout.

Sayaka turned around, walking out onto the floor of the concert hall. She snapped her fingers, and the room began re-shaping itself - the seats turned as the room stretched out of its fine oval, instead becoming long, rectangular. The lighting dropped as well, although there was no clear source of the lighting.

And then, well, it was a movie theater.

* * *

"So, were Goku and Piccolo enemies before this or . . .?" Mami whispered across Homura to Madoka.

 _"Yeah, there was a whole other show about it."_

 _Huh._

Kyouko and Nagisa were paying very little attention to the show at this point because nobody was getting actively shot with lasers anymore. Instead, Kyouko was finding all of the un-popped kernels of popcorn in her bucket, heating them with a little of her fire magic, and then flicking them over everyone's heads to land in Nagisa's mouth. That girl was crazy good at biting projectiles out of the air, it was really impressive - if annoying in a theater setting.

"You know," Madoka whispered to Homura, "I had the biggest crush on Android 18 when I was younger."

"Who - who is Android 18?"

Madoka waved away the question and said, "Oh, you'll meet her in like . . . three seasons or something. Very cute. Jean jacket."

Homura giggled. It was awfully cute whenever she giggled, but that didn't keep the pang of jealousy out of Mami's heart.

* * *

"Is this - is this the only song she plays?" Mami asked, nodding in the direction of Kyouko's DDR machine.

"Oh yeah, she loves it. I don't think I've ever seen her miss a step on it, either." Sayaka shrugged, leaning against the side of one of the other arcade machines. "But, you were saying . . ."

Kyouko's domain had grown since she first moved back to Mitakihara City, although not by much. The arcade had grown a second floor and a table for everyone to eat that left the whole place reminiscent of a retro pizza parlor from the early 2000s. For some reason, despite Kyouko's love of festival food, it had never changed to accommodate her in the way Mami's had when she'd gotten interested in baking. The closest thing was probably the mini-fridge that endlessly spawned grape Fanta, which to this day stained the buttons on all the old _Street Fighter_ machines.

"Right . . . yeah," Mami said, pulling her eyes away from Kyouko's mesmerizingly fast dancing. "So, yesterday, I tried to bring up sex with Homura in a setting with less pressure - just like, quietly when we were out, clearly I wasn't asking about it for right then."

"Mhm."

"But after about two sentences she was totally frozen. I mean, eyes wide, barely talked for our whole trip to the cafe."

"Ouch."

"The thing is, she's definitely into making out with me, and she admits that she gets turned on - especially when I touch her arms, apparently, (like I'm not allowed to do that in public) - and I'm pretty sure she's _interested_ when I bring it up, and - why are you making that face?"

Sayaka's face was stuck in a barely-suppressed grin, and when Mami asked about it, she just held her hand over her face until she could force into a very-suppressed grin. Then she said, "Oh, it's nothing. This is just literally the most disturbing and amazing conversation I've ever had - but you said Homura hadn't touched people for literal years until you started dating, right? And before that, she didn't hold hands or hug people? And she has a totally unknown religious and moral background pre-contract?"

Mami was suspicious that this conversation was leading nowhere with a simple answer, but she nodded.

Sayaka laughed, delighted. "Well, there you go! She's probably clueless and scared, or reservations from her childhood. Like, when Kyouko and I first got together - she contracted super young-"

"-I was there, yes,"

"- yeah, so she didn't know anything about sex or anything really, so we had to-"

"HEY!" Kyouko had somehow managed to turn and face them without missing any notes on the song. She made an emphatic cutting motion over her throat, which made Mami and Sayaka both giggle.

"Ah, yeah, come to think of it," Sayaka said, "Kyouko and I have definitely never had sex and I, in fact, don't know a single thing about sex."

Kyouko stared for a few seconds longer, hands in her pockets and eyebrows raised, clearly exasperated. Once Sayaka shot her a thumbs-up to confirm that she would in fact not be revealing anything about their sex life, Kyouko spun around and landed on a double held note.

"But seriously, Mami. You might be well-adjusted to being a teenager and touching people and everything, but Homura isn't - not to mention that sensory stuff she's got going on. If you want to know why she's uncomfortable or why she can't have that conversation, find out what would make her comfortable enough to have that conversation. Maybe send texts, or don't be looking at each other at the time, or something. Communicate with her, you know?"

"You're right, you're right . . ." Mami said, her posture disintegrating until she was practically stuck to a broken arcade machine. "Relationships are hard."

Sayaka chuckled, lacing her fingers behind her head and relaxing her stance. "I mean, only if you're trying to have a good one."

* * *

It was Mami's eighteenth birthday and everyone had bought her stuffed animals - except Homura, who hadn't gotten her anything. What do you get the girl who can conjure anything?

They were celebrating at a cafe downtown that was popular among magical girls - meaning it had virtually no foot traffic and what little it did was made up almost entirely of girls aged 12 to 20. There was no way it made enough money to keep running when this birthday party made up the majority of customers today, but it had managed to stay open for the past several years. Given that regular people couldn't see it and it was made up of bizarrely eclectic furniture, Mami had a powerful suspicion that the cafe was run by a magical girl. In fact, the only non-magical girl she'd definitely encountered in all her years coming here was . . . their waitress.

"Your tiramisu and ice cream, miss," said Nana, smiling brightly as she set the dishes down. She set it half-way between Mami and Homura, then dropped two spoons with it as well.

"Oh, she only ordered it for her-" Homura started, but Mami lightly swatted her hands down.

"Actually, I was lying about that. We're sharing this," Mami said, picking up a spoon. "You never get cake and _it's my birthday_ so," Mami got a little ice cream on her spoon before the tiramisu, "you know. Peer pressure."

"Oh, are we peer pressuring Homura?" Sayaka said, pulling her attention away from a conversation with Madoka. "Why?"

"Drugs!" Madoka cried suddenly, lifting her own spoon and aiming it at Homura. "Like that?"

"That was very good Madoka, but it's just cake," Mami said, amused.

"If you don't eat the tiramisu I'll punch you in the fucking face," Kyouko said, deadpan, not even taking her eyes off her milkshake.

Mami coughed. "That's not peer pressure, Kyouko, that's coercion."

Finally, Kyouko glanced up and replied, "Peer pressure is a type of coercion."

The table went uncomfortably silent for a few seconds while they all sincerely wondered if they'd taken the joke too far. Kyouko just looked pleased that she managed to fuck with everyone.

"I . . . I just don't like tiramisu, actually," Homura said very quietly. Her hands sat in her lap and her head was down, clearly embarrassed.

Nagisa blinked, leaning forward over the table, "But . . . it has mascarpone?"

Even quieter now, Homura said, "I don't . . . like cheese." Whispering, "I'm lactose intolerant."

"Couldn't you just make lactase enzymes with magic?" offered Madoka.

Silence.

" _Anyway_ , that's fine. I'll just make you a cake you'll like later," Mami said, dragging the dishes so that they sat between her and Nagisa instead. "Nagisa, you're up."

"A dreadful burden . . ." Nagisa said, leaning over most of the table to get Homura's dessert spoon, "but one I am called to bear."

Once a few minutes had passed and Homura had the chance to cool off from having people's attention on her, Mami sent her a text.

 **Mami:** So I know what I want for my birthday :)

 **Homura:** oh, cool! What do you want?

 **Mami:** My girlfriend, dressed in nothing but ribbons

Homura dragged her phone towards her to look at the preview screen. Mami took a scoop of ice cream and put it in her mouth just in time to watch Homura suddenly panic, flip her phone over and drop it into her lap, then clasp her hands over it. She snickered, but Homura just blushed.

What she didn't expect was, only a few seconds later, Homura's gentle _"Okay,"_ in her head.

Mami turned, and Homura looked up from her lap and tucked hair behind her ear. Her eyes weren't bottomless or blank like they used to be, just a little nervous.

 _Are you sure?_ Mami asked.

Homura nodded. _"I'll have to go to JoAnne's or something for the ribbons?"_

Mami just stared blankly, taking a long time to have a clue where the communication had fallen apart. _No, Homura, I'm talking about my-_

Homura asked, _"You're asking if I want to have sex, right?"_

 _Like, yes._

Homura sighed with relief. _"Okay, yeah, sorry, I was just trying to flirt."_ Then, apparently steeling herself, she added with determination, _"Let's do it."_

* * *

Homura fell asleep about an hour ago, but Mami was having trouble sleeping. She wasn't stressed out or anything - really, she was far more relaxed than normal, especially for being up at 3am - but she was a little wired. She lay on her back so Homura wouldn't think she was creepily staring at her if she woke up, listening to her slow breathing. Homura murmured in her sleep all the time, but right now, she was quiet and lovely.

Mami Tomoe had fallen in love. The pangs she felt for Madoka when Homura inevitably did not match up to her in some regard had withered. Now there were these small, private moments of joy when Mami appreciated things that were all Homura's own.

Maybe she wasn't ready to say she loved her yet. But maybe she was ready to make her a cake.

It was nice to be up in the pre-dawn, accomplishing something when there were no distractions - no deadlines, no texts, no people - and making the cake gave her something to do. Her domain included a magical cupboard that stocked whatever she needed, but not a magical fridge, leaving the fridge constantly over-full and the pantry all but empty at any given time. Kyouko liked to come over on the weekend and raid the fridge, given that she'd never learned how to shop for groceries and Mami had never learned how to responsibly spend money.

Lactose intolerant or not, Homura loved chocolate and cream, so Mami settled on a fairly simple three-layer chocolate cake. She initially wanted to add chocolate chips, but quickly settled on having strawberries in a layer of stabilized whip cream instead. Once she had the cakes cooking in the oven, she started cutting strawberries into halves, then shaping them into little hearts where possible. It was impossible to get them all the same size, but that didn't matter so much since most of them would be going inside the whipped cream. Speaking of which, once she washed the beaters and mixing bowl, she stuck them in the fridge so they'd be cold for the cream.

Mami didn't have a chiller in the house, so she just sat on her phone and played mobile games when she needed to wait for the cakes to cool off and start the whipped cream.

Sometime after 5am, as Mami was putting the finishing touches on the frosting, she felt like it looked too plain, even with the ring of thinly sliced strawberries around the base. She wondered what it was missing for a little while, then settled on adding some royal icing - white chocolate, so she could dye it afterwards.

Mami was nearly finished when she heard Homura shuffling down the stairs.

"Good morning, sweet heart. I have something for you," Mami called without looking up.

"Good morning . . ." Homura paused at the base of the stairs, leaning over the hand rail to look in the kitchen. "Cake? For breakfast?"

"I'm an adult, I can do as I please." Mami said, finally finishing her icing job, smug satisfaction setting in at having it done on time. "And it's not just any cake."

"What - what kind of cake, then?"

"Why don't you sit down at the table?" said Mami, ignoring the question.

Homura finally emerged from the stairs and pulled a cushion from the couch to drop it beside the table. For probably the first time Mami had ever seen, Homura's hair was a mess and she'd done nothing to fix it, bringing Mami's newfound love to a simmer.

"Do you mind doing the plates?"

Homura only shook her head in response, tapping the glass table with her finger twice. The china cabinet across the living room opened, and two small plates floated down onto the table.

Mami glanced down at the cake once more to make sure she was holding it right, then walked it over to the table and set it down in the center.

"Oh, that's beautiful Mami, you didn't have to-"

The rest of Homura's words died as she finally took a look at the neat, rose-colored writing on top.

 **Thanks for the sex!**

Mami waited with her hands on her hips, grinning, hungry for whatever delicious reaction Homura would have. Embarrassment? Complete panic?

And then Homura just laughed. At first she tried to hide it behind her head, but then she read it: "Thanks for the sex," and ended up doubled-over in front of the table, completely hidden beneath her hair as she laughed.

"Do you like it?" Mami asked.

It took Homura a few seconds to sit up, wipe the tears starting to form in her eyes, and compose herself. Then, "Yes, very much. Thank you."

Homura brushed her hair back, a crackle of electric magic making it all lie flat, and said, "Okay, then, I guess we're having cake for breakfast."

* * *

Just as they were finishing their slices of cake, Mami laughed nervously as a familiar thought crossed her mind. But after last night, she felt a lot less anxious about it, so this was as good a time as any to bring it up.

"So, I have something awkward to admit."

Homura set her fork down and tilted her head curiously. "What is it?"

Mami tapped the table nervously as she worked up the nerve to speak. Then, "Well, it's pretty embarrassing, but I guess I've been feeling jealous of Madoka for how well she gets along with you." She knew that wasn't all of it - dating Homura had forced Mami to recognize her attraction to Madoka and carefully, quietly discard it. She wasn't jealous of Homura for Madoka's attention often anymore, so it wasn't _technically_ a lie, even of omission. Just a half-truth.

After a few seconds of silence, she tacked on, "It's stupid."

Although she didn't speak, Homura shook her head, her face empty, looking at her plate instead of Mami's face.

Mami didn't know what to make of that. But now that she had said that much, she felt the need to keep going. "Do you . . . like Madoka?"

More quiet. This time, though, Mami felt dedicated to waiting for an answer. She felt like she was owed it, even as she tried to tell herself that she wasn't owed anything that was going on in Homura's head - that was the only way they managed to date, after all.

Homura took a slow breath, then said, "I don't want to lie to you."

Mami kept up the small smile even as her heart sank. She wished she had tea or something else to occupy her hands, obscure her expression.

"I see," she said.

Homura looked up to meet her eyes. To Mami's surprise, her expression wasn't empty, but afraid. "Please don't break up with me. I really like dating you, regardless of what I might feel . . . for Madoka. I don't want to stop."

 _I see,_ Mami thought privately. _Is it just some fleeting crush? Or is her love the real thing?_

 _Is it even possible to love two people for real?_

Mami had asked herself that often, but the only answer that had made sense was a firm _No_. She had to make a choice.

Then again, here Homura was, and she was making a choice too.

Far too slow, Mami laughed and waved away the thought. "Of course I'm not going to break up with you for something like that. I was just curious."

Homura sat in a daze while Mami picked up the plates and stood. She walked around the table, kissed Homura's head with an, "I adore you," and walked into the kitchen to handle the dishes. She wasn't ready to say it yet. But she could be patient.

* * *

Mami had been waiting quietly throughout the graduation ceremony, but she was getting nervous. Nobody but her could see them, but there were these ethereal little creatures marching through the town, paying her and everyone else no mind. Afraid of attracting their attention, she was doing her best to ignore them, even if there were more than 100 of them in the auditorium. Where were they coming from? Why were they here?

None of the other magical girls had managed to make it to graduation, even though Kyouko had announced her attention to ditch in the group chat. Sayaka, Madoka, and Homura must have seen them, too.

A member of the third-year faculty was giving a speech, so Mami decided it was safe to zone out for a minute.

 _Madoka, Sayaka, Homura. Have you two seen the little soldier men creeping around the school today?_

 _"Oh jeeze, I thought it was just me,"_ said Sayaka. _"I started seeing them this morning, but nobody brought it up."_

 _"So they_ are _real, okay! Do you know why they're here?"_ asked Madoka.

 _I have absolutely no idea, but they're here at the graduation ceremony._ When she realized Homura wasn't part of the conversation, she added, _Have you two seen Homura? She was supposed to be here._

 _"She didn't walk with us this morning,"_ said Sayaka.

 _"I figured she was with you?"_

Homura sighed, adjusting her posture and smile in her seat and taking a few seconds to look around at the little monsters so nobody would think she was falling asleep.

 _Is Kyubey with you?_

 _"No, I haven't seen him today either."_

 _"Not to be paranoid, but I don't like the sound of this,"_ Sayaka replied. Then, _"I'm going to text Kyouko and see if she knows anything."_

 _Thank you._

When it finally came time for the graduates to all stand and bow to their teachers, Mami couldn't help but keep her eyes on the little soldiers as they marched past everyone's ankles.

* * *

Mami found herself on top of the roof of the high school minutes after graduation, trying to find a pattern in the strange spider web of marching monsters. They weren't causing any trouble for anyone as far as she could tell, but something about them just didn't feel right. Maybe it was the way that, no matter what angle you looked at them, you only saw their profile. Maybe it was their marching song that you could only hear if you crouched beside their line, like a kid studying an ant trail. Or maybe it was just that no one but magical girls could see them.

 _"What do you make of them?"_ asked Kyubey.

Mami glanced over her shoulder and, sure enough, Kyubey had appeared on the bench where they normally sat for lunch.

 _They're creepy, but they're not hostile. Even though we're the only ones who can see them, I can't see what their connection to wraiths might be._

 _"Neither can I,"_ he replied, scratching behind the ears. _"But they are fascinating."_

 _So you don't know anything about them?_

 _"Oh, I wouldn't say that."_

Mami only raised her eyebrows in response.

Kyubey shook like he was casting off water, then sat down again, perfectly still.

 _"For instance, they're coming from Homura Akemi's house."_

Homura. Homura. Homura - what had she done? Why would they be coming from her domain?

 **Mami:** Hey there sweetie. Where are you? Are you safe?

She didn't wait for a reply before jumping from the roof, transforming as she fell.

* * *

It was even worse than Kyubey had said.

By the time Mami had made it onto the street Homura lived, she was surrounded by hundreds of the little monsters marching down the sidewalk and through the streets, always in neat files. Their song wasn't so quiet anymore, but Mami couldn't understand it, couldn't even place it as a language, like when someone plays a song backwards. She felt like they were staring at her, but they weren't the only ones; the houses with a thousand eyes you couldn't see watching you looked wrong - tall and thin, looming over the street, but without any depth, like the drawing of a five-year-old. When she looked into the windows, she saw people's faces, but when they were in her peripheral vision, she could swear they were something different, some monsters with paper wings and red, cartoonish faces.

She didn't have to see Homura's house to know Kyubey was right, but actually seeing it was a different experience. Homura's home was the only building that looked normal, and that was saying something. The little men who marched out of it first marched as if they were walking down a painting, their feet touching the ground but not in a way gravity should allow. As they reached the sidewalk, they turned and walked on the ground properly, following the others - to what destination, Mami could not imagine.

Homura's door had been left ajar.

She still hadn't answered any of Mami's texts, and nobody had seen her. As far as she could tell, Homura was still inside.

Careful not to step onto any of the little creatures, Mami made her way across the lawn and stepped inside the door.


	5. I Promise

**Summary:** Mami confronts the awful truth of her and Homura's past. It all starts to come undone. The only thing that holds Mami together is a promise.

* * *

With her first step inside, Mami jumped at the sound of a splash. There was no floor beneath her that she could see, only an inch-deep surface of lilac paint covering the soles of her shoes, a tiny ripple flowing away before her.

Next came a terrifying rushing sound, and her eyes drawn upward. There was no ceiling, only a massive pendulum like a fish hook swaying, affixed to nothing. Every few seconds it swung with a terrifying rush of wind, like the fall of an executioner's axe.

There were no walls to speak of either, but Mami could see the shape of the room she entered nonetheless; beginning at the door she walked in through, a warped circle of beautiful paintings, televisions, and strange mirrors drifted through the air at an almost imperceptibly slow pace. The images on all of them were familiar and yet senseless - images of Homura, Mami, Madoka, and many other magical girls besides, images of Mitakihara's cityscapes and the docks, images of things that do not and can never be put to words. The almost-but-never-quite realism of the pieces soaked into Mami's body with a chill.

There was the crying, too, that makes it all the worse. Standing beneath the ring of images were a dozen or so painted dolls dressed in black and white, muttering among themselves while quietly sobbing. Their words and cries alike were wrong, so wrong, like a familiar song played backwards.

And there, in the center of it all, undisturbed by Mami's entrance, was Homura. She was dressed in a black dress that Mami couldn't recognize, stained by the lilac paint in two thick, disconcerting ribbons beneath her eyes, pouring from them. Her eyes? Rather, there were no eyes, only a void of nothing, even more senseless than the pictures all around.

 _What did she do?_

Mami knew the thought was her own, but even as she thought it, she felt it was whispered to her, one sentence whispered clearly among the soft noises of the dolls.

"Homura?"

No response - Homura appeared frozen in place, the only motion the flow of paint.

Mami took another step closer, alert to any potential danger. Could this be the work of wraiths, or the abilities of a hostile magical girl? Whatever it was, it got Homura, and Mami had to be ready to act in an-

Mami collapsed a few steps in, overwhelmed by a pain in her chest, a pain like a stab that punctured her lungs. She gasped as she fell to her knees in the paint, but the pain only came again, and again, cutting and stabbing and ripping all over until her vision gave out.

What only felt like a few seconds later, Mami's vision returned, her lungs filled with air, and the pain vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. She pat her body over a few times, searching for the wounds and finding none. No wounds, but blood, dripping from her neck and chest, soaking into her clothes. It felt and smelled just like blood but somehow, she was fine. Just an illusion. A trick.

Mami pushed herself back to her feet and called again, "Homura?"

Homura gasped loudly, as if startled, but before Mami could say anything more, she started a panicked whispering.

"No no no no no, you be here, she shouldn't be here, Mami, no no no-"

"It's all right, Homura," Mami said finally close enough to crouch in front of Homura. She raised a hand and touched her cheek as gently as she could, and though she flinched, Homura didn't pull away.

Her whispering stopped, and Mami could for the first time feel the dolls' eyes turn to her.

"Homura, what did you do?"

Homura winced, as if Mami's gentle voice were too loud.

"I . . . very nearly betrayed my wish. So close, too close, too close . . ."

 _Despair, then_? If Homura had given into her hopelessness, then it would have corrupted her gem and she'd disappear - Mami had never seen _this_ happen. She reached down and grabbed Homura's hand, inspecting the band on her finger.

A little darker than perfect, but light still shined through clearly.

Mami reached up and brushed Homura's hair behind her ear, making sure none of it fell into the stream of paint.

"The Law of the Cycle won't be coming for you today, I promise."

Homura laughed loudly, startling Mami into stillness.

"It already has."

Then, in a whisper, Homura added, "I'm hiding in here . . . so it can't find me."

"I'm serious - your soul gem in clear. You don't have anything to-"

"That's _not_ my soul gem."

 _What?_ Homura always wore her soul gem as a band on her left hand, ever since they'd met, and Mami had seen her use it to transform dozens of times by now.

"Here . . ." Homura said, lifting her left hand out for Mami to see. Her ring sparkled for a second, then formed into a proper soul gem, bright violet.

Then, she closed her hand into a fist, and Mami could hear the glass crack.

"Homura! Homura, stop it! What are you doing?!"

By the time it even occurred to Mami to intervene, Homura opened her hand once again, nothing but broken glass and a strange, shimmering dust in her palm.

"I'm not a magical girl, Mami."

It was all at once a sentence impossible to believe and impossible to refute, for the proof of both lay crushed in Homura's hand.

"Then . . . what are you?"

The dolls' whispering grew louder, finally into words she could parse:

"Proud," "Pessimist," "Coldhearted," "Selfish," "Slanderer," "Blockhead," "Jealous," "Lazy," "Vain," "Coward," "Stupid-looking," "Inferior," "Stubborn," "The Nutcracker Queen," "Demon."

The images all around them all flickered to black at once. Then, new images appeared - of Homura, over and over again; paintings of her, movies of her, her reflection, always the same. But sometimes, in the corner of her eye, Mami saw someone else - _something_ else - but whenever she searched for it, all she found is Homura again.

It was difficult for Mami to make sense of it all at once, but she can tell easily what was missing - goodness. Nothing these dolls said or these pictures showed represented more than a fraction of the Homura Mami knew. They were just hollow lies you tell yourself. The despair a teenager feels when they look in the bathroom mirror at night for too long. Only the worst sliver of truth.

"Is this . . . what you think you are, Homura? Or I guess, who you think you are?"

"I don't know who I am."

Mami wasn't sure what to say to that. It's hard to know who you are. Mami could hardly fault Homura for not seeing herself the way Mami does, for not knowing what the future holds for herself. And no amount of loving Homura was going to give Mami the power to tell her who she is.

While Mami was steeped in contemplation, Homura said, as if pained, "You weren't supposed to be real."

Mami tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean?

"You don't understand. You couldn't understand, I . . ."

That just pissed her off. "Then help me understand what's wrong! I want to help!"

Silence for a long moment, while Mami regretted raising her voice.

Homura blinked, and her eyes were like eyes again, the paint no longer flowing. Mami smiled, satisfied to finally be getting somewhere.

". . . okay," Homura said, wiping the paint from beneath her eyes. She took a deep breath with her eyes closed. Then, "Okay."

"Okay," Mami said, still smiling, patient.

The dolls quieted down, then finally fell silent. The images all faded away, replaced with reflections - Mami and Homura, reflected a hundred times, a dead calm.

The paint filling the floor of the room and staining Homura's clothes ran clear like water, then became smooth, like a wire pulled taut; reflective, like the mirrors all around them.

Then, as if the floor had fallen out from underneath her, Mami plunged down into the water. Water filled her lungs like a hundred stabs, and the water rose higher, higher, drowning the mirrors along with her, and now matter how she thrashed or swam, the surface never got any closer, and the mirrors never pulled away further.

And then the images were back, but far more consistent this time - all of Mami. They played like five-second movies, a blooper reel of horror. She watches as her own head is torn from her shoulders by a gigantic beast, as Madoka's arrow and Homura's bullets shatter her soul gem, watches her flesh melt away as it's replaced by something awful, something incomprehensible. She watches her friends kill the monster that was once her, Madoka crying, Homura's empty eyes, Kyouko's screaming. And it doesn't end there - crushed to death, burned up, consumed by an inky black nothing, and over and over, these monsters that didn't make any sense, like a child's painting come to life.

The images all became one now: Homura, a pale, frail, thin little middle schooler with braids Mami was sure she'd never seen, crying in front of a classroom. Madoka, Sayaka, and Hitomi were all there, and Mami can place it easily enough as second year, back when they all met . . . but not. It played out so clearly, like a movie lasting only a minute, and then there was Mami's corpse once again, only this time the movie lingered on it, Homura weeping over it, and Madoka standing nearby. Madoka glanced over her shoulder, saying something that Mami could not hear, and Homura was screaming.

It played out like that again, different this time - Homura was a magical girl, and the movie plays faster. Madoka writhed on the ground, and the movie started over.

Faster. Homura pled with her friends, but they didn't listen. Madoka shot Mami dead, and this time Madoka was the one crying. The movie started over.

Faster, faster. The movie began to play at a blinding speed, but somehow, Mami could still understand what it showed her. This story, played out one-hundred times. Then, one-hundred and one.

Madoka was there, holding her soul aloft while she says speaks, a shining light Homura can only stare at in wonder and horror in equal measure.

Homura betrayed her, and the movie started again.

Slow. Madoka and Kyouko met in class, Kyouko was fast to warm up but Madoka so much faster. Madoka and Sayaka had lunch on the weekend, running through Sayaka's latest interaction with Kyosuke in excruciating detail. Madoka bowed to Mami the day they first met. Madoka doodled in the middle of the night, wondering what sort of magical girl she'd be. Madoka smiled at Mami, smiling over and over and over again. Tea shops with Mami, and a wicked smile that didn't quite come to the surface. Half-asleep on the train with Mami. Kissing Mami. Madoka smiling. Mami smiling. Kissing Mami. A beast known as Candeloro . . . and another, known as Homulilly. Slipping her shoes on one morning before class, and a smile all alone. A tear fell unbidden, and sudden drops of lilac spilled onto the floor.

* * *

Mami awoke with her face half-submerged in water an inch deep, back in the room of mirrors. She sat up, and found Homura unconscious beside her, her long hair spilling out every which way into the water. Her soul gem - her _real_ soul gem - clutched in her hand, glowed through the cracks between Homura's fingers.

The rest of her looked all wrong - some twisted amalgamation of Homura and the monsters Mami had seen in the mirrors. A demon. A queen. Homura.

Mami stood up, inspecting the creature below her cautiously. She transformed as soon as Homura stirred, caught off-guard by the sight of her face; it was spliced in half and stitched together again at the jaw line, her mouth replaced with the awful white leather of that creature from the mirror. Homulilly. The Nutcracker queen.

A musket formed in Mami's grasp. She held it at her side for now.

Homura sat up, raised her hand to feel the leather on her face, and found that her hand had likewise been replaced with an aspect of a monster. If this disturbed her, Mami could not tell; she simply dropped her hand back down to her lap and looked up, almost-but-not-quite to Mami's eyes.

The air around them was too still and too quiet, and speaking at all felt difficult, wrong. But she had to.

"You deserve to die for what you've done, Homura."

"I know." The words sound just off from what a human could make, words with a tongue like leather.

Mami kept her hands still not letting them ball up into fists. She didn't want to reveal her anger. Not yet.

"Would killing you fix things? Would it put them back?"

Homura shrugged, and for the first time in a long while, Mami saw her dead-eyed stare return.

Her hand trembled from the effort of not moving.

"Did I . . ." Mami swallowed, trying to bite back all of her feelings. Unsuccessfully.

"Did I even have a _choice_ in all those timelines? Or was it just my fate to die alone, over and over."

Homura didn't respond.

"Do I even have a choice _now_? Or did you set this all up because you didn't have the courage to kill yourself after everything you've done?"

"You had a choice." Homura's eyes were startlingly sharp, but there was still no light behind them. She still wouldn't stand up. "You _always_ had a choice. But the fate of every magical girl is to die alone. Or . . . it was. Until . . ."

The images came back with painful pulse in Mami's head. "Until Madoka . . . she made that wish."

A life that Mami couldn't remember but couldn't help but remember layered itself over her past, smothering it. "She created a world where magical girls could live with hope, where we didn't need to be alone anymore, but you . . . you _took_ her from us. This world, it's . . . it's just a box you stuffed her in to keep her, I don't . . ."

The memories were alien and impersonal, but unsettlingly real, as if trying to convince Mami that her own memories were a dream.

But they made sense, and the pain in Mami's head began to deaden. She grit her teeth, needing to think clearly. "You put her in a cage where you could never really be with her. Why, Homura? Why did you choose to be alone?"

The way Homura's throat contorted when she swallowed was disturbing, but her words finally started to sound like her own:

"I didn't want to become some nebulous _thing_. I didn't want to stop being Homura Akemi. I gave my soul for Madoka Kaname, and that is the only thing I've ever done that I'm proud of."

Her gaze became sharper, finally looking into Mami's eyes for real. There was something in them Mami could not recognize. "Madoka deserved to live a long and happy life, but instead she . . ."

Homura's voice softened. "I just wanted to give that to her."

That just made Mami mad. "Oh, bullshit!" Aiming a gun at Homura's head was pointless, but that didn't keep Mami from doing it. "I saw things from your side, Homura. You wanted to own her. You stopped caring about what Madoka felt a long time ago as long as you didn't have to let her go."

Homura cracked a smile, leather and flesh opening up to mismatched rows of teeth.

"That's probably true." She held the back of her hand in front of her mouth bashfully as she started giggling. "And if that's all I wanted, this world would go on forever, and this cage would never crack. But you saw through that, you know?" Homura blinked, and the giggling subsided. "I wanted her to love me. No matter how much I tried to control her, I could never keep Madoka from loving, but she never, ever wanted me."

Homura leaned forward onto her knees, and Mami had to brace herself to neither recoil nor pull the trigger. Homura placed the pads of her fingers on the barrel of Mami's gun, stroking it with discomforting sensuality.

A venom leaked into Homura's voice. "But she did love you, you know. Over and over, in a hundred worlds, she loved and lost you, but this time she got to keep loving you. And who are you, even, but a fabrication of a girl I once knew? How could she keep choosing _you_?" She tapped the end of the barrel at the final word, testing Mami's cool.

"If I wanted her, I was going to have to keep you from falling for her back."

Mami knew this, but it still hurt. She lowered the rifle's barrel just slightly, aimed at the soul gem in Homura's hand.

"So you tricked me," she said. "You never really felt anything for me. You played with me, and you'd discard me when I was no longer a threat to your petty love, right?"

Homura dropped onto her back, opening her hand so the soul gem was in plain view, but covering her own eyes at the same time. She nodded.

"Yeah. That was the plan."

The confession just made it harder not to pull the trigger, but Mami still needed answers. What about all the months in between? Could all the fire Mami saw behind Homura's eyes been a fake, just part of the illusion? Was none of it real?

Mami swallowed. "Do you expect me to pity you?"

Homura didn't respond to that. Instead, after a few seconds, she asked, "Did you love me? Was any of this real?"

And that was exactly what Mami wanted to know.

"OF COURSE I LOVED YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

Homura flinched, but Mami didn't stop shouting.

"All of this? It was all real for me. These memories are just pictures in my head, a dream that won't go away when I wake up. But _I_ am still me, and I loved you!"

"I loved you too," Homura replied, without missing a beat. Her voice became quiet, a strained whisper. "I loved you for a second, and for just a second, I regretted making this world. It only took a second for everything to get so . . ." she waved her empty hand around, gesturing around at her domain, "fucked up. And now . . . I don't know how to make it right again. I don't know how to put the pieces back; it's like they don't fit where they used to be."

Finally the tears came, unbidden and unwanted. Mami dropped the gun, and it vanished into nothing but smoke. She took a step forward and crouched down by Homura's side, her own voice curdling into a whisper as well.

"You can't make things right again, Homura. Even if you turn back time, sooner or later, this world will fall apart, and Madoka will go free. It's where she belongs, and you can't stop it."

"But I . . ."

Tears started filling Homura's eyes as well, but she wiped them away. "I don't want to lose her. I don't want to die, Mami. And I don't want to leave this world and lose you, either. This is the first time I've been . . ." but Homura's voice became too strained, and she screwed her eyes shut tight, trying to regain composure.

And this much was familiar. Mami took Homura's hand, and Homura looked up, startled, and unable to stop the crying now.

Mami shook her head. "I don't want that either. I . . . would rather stay here, where my friends are alive, and happy. One day the Law of the Cycle will find us all, but that doesn't have to be today.

"Oh . . ." Homura turned her hand around, and grabbed Mami's. "Mami, I . . ."

And without another word, she shot up and fell into Mami's arms.

"Mami, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Mami, I . . ."

"Sshh, sshh, honey, it'll be all right, we'll figure it out . . ."

"I love you Mami and I'm so, so sorry."

Mami couldn't figure out why Homura was apologizing to her, but she was absolutely sure Homura needed a good cry, so she let her settle her head against her chest and sob, letting her own tears fall into Homura's hair while running her hands through it. She could see the witch and demon's features melt away, until it was just Homura, finally just the two of them.

Homura gasped, and Mami heard a splash behind her.

Madoka stepped inside and closed the door behind her, turning her gentle smile towards them both. Her eyes shone with the brightest gold, and even the vacant white that surrounded them on all sides seemed dim compared to the light that emanated from her.

"You're both here," she said as she approached them. It was clear she was delighted, but the sight of Madoka like this made Mami's blood run cold.

She had just betrayed Madoka, too. A conspiracy of two, and it had been uncovered as soon as it started.

"Madoka," Mami said, as if beginning a prayer.

"Madoka . . ." Homura whimpered, her fingers digging into Mami's back as if she were in pain.

Mami refused to let go of Homura, even though she knew there was nothing she could do. It was here. She was here.

Madoka knelt beside them, still smiling, and reached out to brush Homura's hair. "It's been too long, Homura. I forgot you. I'm sorry."

Homura shook her head. "No, it's all my fault. I keep fucking everything up, I'm so sorry, I -"

But Madoka just shook her head in return. "It's all right. I feel your despair, Homura." She clasped Homura's cheek. "And I feel your love. I promise I won't forget again."

Homura was all but inconsolable, but Madoka seemed to soothe her.

Mami was having the opposite experience.

"Madoka, please, don't do this. Don't take her. I can't lose you both, not like this."

Madoka's smile was patient, and it never slipped. She was so much like Madoka, and yet, not quite. She was something so much more, and all of Homura's memories and alien comprehension could not explain it.

"You won't lose me, and you won't lose Homura, I promise." She placed her other hand on the back of Mami's neck, and leaned forward until their foreheads touched. "You have looked out for me always. I won't let your love be overcome by despair, not ever. I love you, and I will always love you. Trust me. Trust _in_ me, please."

"Madoka . . ." Mami took an unsteady breath; she could feel the edges of the room fading, and the world with it. "I don't want to live without you, or Homura. Please . . . stay with us. I love you."

Every little thought of love, adoration, and attraction that Mami had been suppressing for so long welled up all at once, and she silently begged that Madoka would kiss her, that she would promise they could be together forever however they so chose. Madoka was like a god, and Homura a devil - somehow, someway, they must be able to make it happen.

Madoka leaned back away from Mami, her hand slipping from Mami's neck to her chest, over her heart. "I promise: you will never, ever be alone."

And the fight in her vanished into nothing but smoke.

"I am sorry, Madoka," Homura cried, as the world around them melted away into light.

* * *

Mami stood in vast, dark desert, a mighty procession from the heavens arranged before her. Madoka was there in all her glory, clutching Homura as tightly as Homura held her, and the two of them became consumed with light.

Sayaka gave a little smirk and a wave, and in a flash, all of it vanished, leaving Mami, Kyouko, and everyone that Homura had kept trapped alone beside a tomb.

Kyouko and Mami looked at each other with tears in their eyes, each doing their best to regain their composure in front of the other.

"Sayaka . . ." Kyouko murmured, holding her hand over her chest. "Leaving me alone again, you asshole."

Mami pressed her own hand to her heart, the heat a weak simulacrum of Madoka's.

 _Madoka. Homura. Nagisa and Sayaka . . ._

But the emptiness that Mami expected to fill her chest didn't come.

The memories were slipping away faster than Mami could fight it, but the feelings weren't.

"They're not gone!" she cried out, but that only made Kyouko close her eyes and turn away so as not to be seen crying.

Mami walked over and placed her hand on Kyouko's shoulder. "They're not gone, I promise. They're just waiting for us."

"They're so selfish," Kyouko grumbled, her fists clenching.

"Maybe," Mami replied. She tugged on Kyouko's shoulder until Kyouko turned around, still not quite facing her. "But they love us, and they're not leaving us, okay? They're still right here," Mami pressed her hand to her heart in clearer demonstration, the words to describe what she knew already gone.

And that was as much as Kyouko could take before she fell into Mami's arms, sobbing.

"We'll never be alone."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

 **Author's End Note**

Boy, let me tell you, I had a lot of ways in mind for this story to end, and my outline stopped solidly right before a clear decision had to be made. But sometime in the past 350ish days, I realized there was only one way for things to go that felt as gentle as I needed them to be to be at peace with it.

For those of you who might be familiar, I think this ending ended up being written because I watched Anohana, or The Flower we Saw that Day, a show I'd deeply recommend for those in need of some catharsis about an unearned, early death - something that always fills me with a horrible unease in media I get attached to. If you look at most of the other content I've ever written, you'll see that a LOT of it comes from a need to come to terms with that reality, even in fiction.

Otherwise... I love these kids and I hope they're happy forever, the end!


End file.
